so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
