the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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