There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
