Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
