just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
