Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
