You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
