Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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