I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Randomize