New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just blew my weed a kiss
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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