she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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