wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
