babies were throwing up all over the place
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize