well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
