So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
