It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize