She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My feet surprised me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize