its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
