I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
