Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It's shark week go big or go home
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
