You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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