Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
