omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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