I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
