Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
