Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
