Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
