just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
