So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
