She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
