you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
