Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
pray to the hookup gods
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
