you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
