sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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