I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
