There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So vagazzling was a success
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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