Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
