i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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