We should be called the Road Head Warriors
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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