I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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