where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
