Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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