I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize