I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
false alarm. still invincible.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
