Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
