I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
