So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
