don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
