I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
