Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize