is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
