I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
