yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
