A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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