Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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