Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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