Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize