she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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