I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
