FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
